Tag Archives: Gay

Pee Wee’s Big Holiday

So amidst everything going on in my life I decided to take a break and check out the new film about a Pee Wee Herman. A character that has been out of the limelight for almost 30 years. While I was not expecting much from the film. I at least expected to be entertained for a hour and a half.

The film follows Pee Wee as we learn he has never left his home town and feels he has everything he need right there. This already bothered me considering the first movie had him traveling all over the place to find his bike. I don’t think the first film was referenced in the second film so I decided screw continuity and just watch. While working at his job a rugged man on a motorcycle (Joe Manganieleo: True Blood, Magic Mike) shows up and they immediately click. They hang out for a little bit then the rugged man tells Pee Wee he is a celebrity from TV. (he is actually playing himself in this film.) He tells Pee Wee he needs to get out of the city and see what life has to offer. As incentive he gives him a birthday invitation for his party in one week.

If this sounds more like a gay love story than just an adventure movie then hold on. This film is essentially a love story to not only Pee Wee but to Joe Mananiello. The plot is pretty linear and follows Pee Wee on this one note quest. There are a few distractions that take place but they leave as quickly as they arrive. This is not entirely a bad thing. Sticking to the main story did make the run time seem really short. Even at an hour and a half the movie didn’t really feel that long.

Paul Reuben’s reprises his character role as Pee Wee and does an ok job. It was amazing to see he could still play the character as well as he did considering how long it had been. While watching the movie I was looking up information on it as I usually do watching movies. Paul Reubens is 63 years old……. To say the least I was stunned. I had no clue he was that old and with that in mind the fact he could even play the character as authentically as he did was amazing.

There are some funny jokes in the movie. They are few and far between but they are there. The ones that are good are laugh out funny. There are also jokes that go on far to long. Had they shortened them they would have been much funnier, but this movie seems to enjoy the idea of stretching jokes out as long as they can.

I don’t want to go on too much about the film itself rather than the information i learned about it afterwards. As I said earlier, the movie is not the best. It could have used a lot of cleaning up in almost all departments other than acting. I found out afterwards this was made as not only a return of Pee Wee Herman, but a little more of an explanation of the character and who he actually is.

This is an interesting point considering the movie is Pee Wee fawning over Joe Mananiello. By the end of the film we see the same is happening in reverse. Joe sits in his bedroom at his expensive party whining that Pee Wee didn’t make it and questions why. There is even a girl who shows up through out the film who goes by the nickname of Pee Wee. It is hinted that she has feelings for Pee Wee Herman but he is to focused on his goal of being with Joe to notice. They do share a kiss during their goodbye but it only serves to add to the confusing nature of the movie.

The reason i bring up these points of the film is the same reason I bring up the film itself. For a movie with such a basic plot, it really doesn’t explain much. Sure it is designed to be a simple adventure, but with the little side points trying to clearly say something this only added to the uncertainty of the stories.

What probably made me laugh the most was the fact you could replace every character in the film with a character in Spongebob and it would have worked. Reuben’s voice as it is now sounds an a lot like Spongebob. Making Pee Wee a restaurant cook did nothing to take away form this feeling. Even his boss felt like Spongebobs. At least they didn’t have a squidward.

I was glad I watched it and enjoyed the occasional laugh it gave me. Fans should give it a watch. If you do please feel free to comment and lets discuss it. I welcome the other thoughts on it. I wonder if anyone will see the same things I got from it. Maybe something entirely different. I would love to know.


Stealth Trans in the Workplace

Spent this morning applying for jobs. Something that always gives me great unease. After my experience with Wal-Mart and their homphobic ways I have honestly been scared to try this again. Then again applying for a job is scary for pretty much anyone. Knowing they can mess with you once you work for them makes it harder. This is what Wal-Mart did.

Not to say the other companies would do such a thing. In fact a few of them I applied to had sections that talked about inclusive nature. This made me feel a lot better. But I can’t help worry about what will happen when I get there. I know there is a big if I even get the job included on that. lol. Maybe I should share the backstory of what happened to show where my timid nature about work came from.

I had to leave a job I really liked because they just weren’t able to give me the hours I needed. I was stepping out in to a personal business venture and needed specific time. They weren’t able to give me what I needed so I left them with a mutual happiness on both sides. It just didn’t work out.

I applied for Wal-Mart hoping they would be able to work with the hours I needed. They did so happily and welcomed me aboard. Seeing this was almost a decade ago times were a bit different. Their immediate concern was which bathroom I used. I understood their concerns even though it essentially treated me like a predator. We came to the agreement i would use the family restroom in the back of the store. I honestly had no problem with this. It wouldn’t give anything away about me and the family bathrooms always have extra space so you don’t feel so cramped.

Everything started off okay. I was given my job and the first day went real well. Then the second day hit and the family bathroom was locked at night. I didn’t need to go so badly and I managed to make it through the night without having to go. The following night not only was the bathroom locked but a bench was placed in front of it. Unable to contain myself a second night I excused myself to the ladies restroom. In and out real quick and right back to work. At least that is what I thought.

I was called in the office the next day by management for using the women’s restroom. I explained the situation and was told I was not to do that. While becoming more apprehensive about the work environment I went back to it stocking shelves. The family restroom was never unlocked during my shift again. I tried to manage but got in trouble again. Same thing and same warning. Another night I decided to be proper about the situation and actually went to my boss telling him I had to pee.

My boss walks with me to the back of the store and proceeds to hold the men’s room door open. He checks for anyone inside and waves me in once he feels it is clear. Horrified I stood there looking at him with his hands beckoning me to the restroom. I decided I could wait. I clearly had bigger issues at hand. I avoided going to the bathroom that day as well even though I could feel the pain in my bladder swelling.

The next day I was called in to the office by all the shift managers and been told I was seen using the women’s restroom again. I knew at this point that I had not and this was no longer a safe place for me. Trying to keep myself together I explained to them I had not used the restroom and was complying with their requests. After they filled their satisfaction of scolding me was finished I went back to work petrified to do anything.

Realizing I was about to collapse in tears and break down I counted down the time till I could log out for lunch. I couldn’t keep it up. It was clear this wasn’t going to be safe for me. Remembering they had already broken the verbal agreement my anger grew. In a last moment of control I went back to my locker to collect my things and walked out. They say the worse thing you could do is walk off your job with no notification. I couldn’t see any other option. Fear had taken me to the point of severe panic.

There are no buses after midnight. The walk home took hours but at least the roads were empty. Walking alone at night has proved dangerous before but the options were gone. I couldn’t stay at work and wait for the buses to start back. At least i can say I had plenty of time to myself to reflect and grow. You would be amazed how much one can think about when you have that much free time on your hands.

Was I proud I did it? Absolutely. There was no way I could maintain my health working in that environment. The sky was clear and the air was crisp. I remember because I could feel the tears chilling my face with the soft breeze. Did it scare me to not be working. You have no idea. I had no clue what my next move was. I just knew it had to be done.

Welcome to why I am scared of jobs. I have had good ones. But most of them were before I lived full time. Afterwards has lead to judgment, ridicule, and flat out harassment. So it is with deep trepidation that I sent out the new batch of applications today. I know a lot has changed since then but I also know prejudice in individuals (especially of those of power) reigns in large corporations to big to see what happens on the ground floor. Just like everyone else I have to work it out. I can’t not live.

I don’t want to leave this on a negative note. That was not my intent. I only wish to show the fear that is within all of us when it comes to what should be one of the simplest things to do. I am optimistic about finding work. Even if I am scared. I would love to have that kind of routine again. I just have to find a place that doesn’t see being Trans as anything other than something that is best left in my application and record. lol.